As it turns out, we have one magic \u201ckeystone habit\u201d as parents that will help us raise smart, kind kids.<\/p>\n
If you haven\u2019t heard of keystone habits before, they\u2019re an elite category of habits that kick off a chain reaction, influencing several areas of your life at once. In other words, you can focus on just one keystone habit, and you\u2019ll experience several positive impacts. For example:<\/p>\n
\u201cKeystone habits explain how Michael Phelps became an Olympic champion and why some college students outperform their peers. They describe why some people, after years of trying, suddenly lose forty pounds while becoming more productive at work and still getting home in time for dinner with their kids.\u201d<\/em> The best thing about this particular \u201ckeystone habit\u201d for raising smart, kind kids is that it\u2019s completely free, it takes just 10-15 minutes a day, and anyone can do it.<\/p>\n To get smart, kind kids, you don\u2019t have to sign your kid up for expensive tutoring or have twice-daily screenings of the movie Wonder.<\/p>\n All you have to do is this: Read to your child. Even if they already know how to read to themselves.<\/p>\n Because research shows reading aloud is the powerful keystone habit that will raise smart, kind kids. (More on that in a minute.)<\/p>\n But This Is What Gets in Our Way<\/strong> We have laundry to fold, sibling battles to mediate, and healthy dinners to prepare. Our kids need help with homework, the car is due for an oil change, and it\u2019s our turn to bring snacks after the t-ball game. We need to make doctor appointments, deposit a check at the bank, and sew that seam that ripped in our best work pants.<\/p>\n On and on and on.<\/p>\n This is why when it comes to reading aloud to our kids, we tend to prioritize it lower. I know I do. In a 2018 survey of American families, only 30 percent of parents reported reading aloud to their kids for at least 15 minutes a day.<\/p>\n I try to read to my kids regularly, but for two weeks I tracked how many picture books I read aloud, and I was shocked. I\u2019d only read to my kids 6 out of 14 days \u2013 not even half of the days.<\/p>\n And so to soothe my guilt, I decided to dig into exactly what reading aloud to your kid accomplishes. I wondered: When it comes to raising smart kids, is reading aloud truly all it\u2019s cracked up to be?<\/em><\/p>\n The Single Habit That Raises Smart, Kind Kids?<\/strong> The moral of my little research project? The one single habit of reading aloud to your child kicks off a chain reaction of all these positive outcomes, and more. If you\u2019re looking for the secret to raising smart kids, reading aloud is it.<\/p>\n So why wasn\u2019t I making it happen even half the time?<\/p>\n 8 Reasons Why We Don\u2019t Read Aloud \u2013 And How to Fix It<\/strong> To explore that disconnect in my own parenting habits, I did some research and reached out to several parents I know to find out why we may not always read aloud to our kids. Then because I\u2019d just read oodles and oodles about how powerful a daily read-aloud habit can be for raising smart kids, for each reason I decided to pull together a few solutions that might help me and my fellow parents.<\/p>\n Because sometimes, all we need is a tweak or two to make reading aloud a daily habit and set our kids up for a fulfilling, happy life.<\/p>\n By the way, if you have any other suggestions for making this habit work, please leave a comment to share at the end of this post!<\/p>\n 1. I\u2019m busy.<\/strong> This is my own Achilles heel. On the lazy days we spend at home, I have no problem fitting in read-aloud time. But on busy days where we have errands, extracurricular activities, or appointments, read-aloud time tends to fall by the wayside.<\/p>\n How to Fix It: Make reading aloud a daily habit. Duh, right? But here are a few hacks for making it happen:<\/p>\n Bundle it. Think of another daily habit you never skip, and bundle reading aloud with that. For example, you wouldn\u2019t skip brushing your kid\u2019s teeth at night, so make a rule that you won\u2019t brush teeth until after you\u2019ve read aloud. Or as another example, you could read aloud to the kids while they take a bath or if they\u2019re slow eaters, while they finish eating dinner. 2. My kid can read on their own.<\/strong> \u201cReading and listening skills begin to converge at about eighth grade. Until then, kids usually listen on a higher level than they read on. Therefore, children can hear and understand stories that are more complicated and more interesting than what they could read on their own\u2026Beyond the emotional bond that is established between parent and child (or teacher and class), you\u2019re feeding those higher vocabulary words through the ear; eventually they\u2019ll reach the brain and register in the child-reader\u2019s eyes.\u201d In other words, a fourth grader can listen to and appreciate a seventh grade level story before she can read it herself, and that\u2019s how you\u2019ll build her vocabulary enough so she can read a higher level book one day.<\/p>\n How to Fix It:<\/strong> Lately, I\u2019ve noticed that if I sit down to read to my younger kids, my oldest will make her way to the same room and sit near us to listen in. Always remember that older kids still like to be read to, even though they may not admit it!<\/p>\n But if you\u2019ve taken a break from reading aloud to your older child and they\u2019re used to reading on their own, it may seem odd to start back up again with reading aloud. Here are a few ideas for easing back in:<\/p>\n 3. I don\u2019t enjoy reading aloud.<\/strong> Enjoyable books, we\u2019ll get to below. But for the second issue, that can be a little more complicated. When I first started reading aloud to my oldest child, I made a mental comparison of my relatively monotone, low-key reading style to the most recent storytime we\u2019d attended at our local library. The librarian was so chipper, so full of energy. And the kids loved her! How could I compete with that?<\/p>\n But I later realized that reading aloud isn\u2019t about your ability to perform. It\u2019s about connecting with your child. Because of the physical closeness and emotional bonding involved, reading aloud is something that kids regularly call out as their favorite activity to do with their parents.<\/p>\n How to Fix It: The first one\u2019s an easy fix because the world has thousands and thousands of children\u2019s books to choose from, so just pick another one you\u2019ll all enjoy and read that instead.<\/p>\n But if you struggle with the experience of reading aloud, try to reframe that time in your mind to focus on the connection you and your child will get from it. For example, you might come up with a special name for that time, like \u201cCuddle and Read Time\u201d or \u201cCozy Book Hour\u201d or \u201cHugs and Books Extravaganza.\u201d<\/p>\n If that doesn\u2019t help, try reading aloud a different genre than normal. If picture books aren\u2019t your thing, maybe poetry would be fun. If poetry doesn\u2019t cut it, try nonfiction. If nonfiction is a no-go, try reading aloud plays and doing different voices for different characters. Just keep trying until you find something you can enjoy.<\/p>\n 4. My child won\u2019t sit still.<\/strong> Especially with active kids, listening is an acquired skill. But with a daily read-aloud habit, kids will learn how to listen. Remember that when you read aloud, you increase your child\u2019s ability to pay attention and concentrate \u2013 skills that will help your child in school and in life beyond school.<\/p>\n How to Fix It:<\/strong> My third child is super active, so when she was younger I had to be creative with finding read-aloud time. Here are a few ideas for how to make it work:<\/p>\n Also, make sure your child is enjoying the books you\u2019re reading. If they\u2019re really into dinosaurs and you\u2019re reading about dump trucks, that could be the root of the issue.<\/p>\n 5. I\u2019m tired.<\/strong> On nights I\u2019m particularly exhausted, I\u2019ve been known to skip pages if I think I can get away with it. (And it turns out, I\u2019m not alone in this.)<\/p>\n How to Fix It:<\/strong> Try moving your read-aloud time earlier in the day. You could read while your kid eats breakfast or an afternoon snack, or during bathtime if you\u2019re not completely pooped by then.<\/p>\n As another strategy, make sure you\u2019re reading a book out loud that you enjoy, too. If you\u2019re stuck reading the same picture books every night, try branching out to a chapter book you enjoyed as a kid or a new release you\u2019ve heard of. Or if you think you can swing it with your kid, try reading out loud from whatever book you\u2019re currently reading. Obviously you\u2019d need to skip over any kid-inappropriate bits, but maybe they\u2019ll go for it, and you can squeeze in a little reading before you\u2019re in bed yourself.<\/p>\n Related: How to Develop a Reading Habit That Will Stick – 8 Steps<\/a><\/p>\n 6. My kids are all different ages<\/strong> How to Fix It: What I\u2019ve discovered is that my 10-year-old still enjoys listening to a good picture book, and I\u2019ve heard from other parents that even their teenagers still love hearing them read picture books out loud.<\/p>\n But if your older child really isn\u2019t interested, try reading interesting magazine or newspaper articles out loud to her while she\u2019s eating or doing chores. You might say, \u201cHey, check this out! I thought you might like this\u2026\u201d And then just start reading.<\/p>\n As another idea, you can read out loud to your older kids when the younger ones are in bed at night or while they\u2019re taking a nap.<\/p>\n
\u2013 The Power of Habit<\/p>\n
As parents, the demands on our time are endless.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/imaginechildcare.com.au\/merewether-heights\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2019\/06\/mh-posts-smart-001.jpg\")
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This is what happens when you read aloud to your child every day:<\/p>\n\n
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Knowing<\/em> that reading aloud to your kids is important and actually making it happen<\/em> every day are two separate things.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re overwhelmed by daily parenting life, reading aloud to your kids doesn\u2019t always make the cut.<\/p>\n
Give yourself a visual cue. Visual cues are great for reminding yourself in the moments you\u2019re most likely to forget. For example, after reading aloud at bedtime, you could put the book back on your child\u2019s nightstand as a reminder to read the next night. Or you might get a sturdy wire basket like this, fill it with a few of the best picture books, and leave the basket on your kitchen counter or in a visible spot of your living room.
Track it. Post a piece of paper on your fridge or use colorful dry-erase markers to write on your bathroom mirror, and keep track of your goal. You might draw a green checkmark for every day you\u2019ve read aloud and a red X for any day you miss. Your goal is to keep a string of checkmarks going as long as possible!<\/p>\n
When our kids are old enough to read on their own, we tend to stop reading aloud. This is what I did when my oldest started reading on her own. But the problem with stopping at this point is that we\u2019re not helping our beginning readers get to the next reading level.<\/p>\n
\u2013 The Read-Aloud Handbook<\/p>\n\n
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This can happen for two reasons: you don\u2019t like the book, or you just don\u2019t like the experience of reading out loud. I can relate to both reasons.<\/p>\n
If every time you try to read aloud, your kid loses interest and runs off to do something else, you\u2019re going to get a complex real fast and think your kid isn\u2019t interested.<\/p>\n\n
Most of us leave read-aloud time for bedtime, but if your kids\u2019 bedtime routine is anything like my kids\u2019, by the end of the day you\u2019re burned out. I don\u2019t want anyone touching me or asking me for one more thing, and I certainly don\u2019t feel like adding 20 more minutes to our already long and drawn out bedtime process.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/imaginechildcare.com.au\/merewether-heights\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2019\/06\/mh-posts-smart-004.jpg\")
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This can be tough. My kids are 10, 5, 3, and newborn. I can read a picture book to the younger three, but that leaves out the oldest. Or I can read a chapter book to the two big kids, but that leaves out the two little kids.<\/p>\n